From Ireland to India

The month leading up to India was a strange one. I wasn’t sleeping, I was stressed, and I felt like I had nothing in me left to give – to my clients, my friends, to myself. I think that’s what they call burnout. I never thought of myself as someone who had anxiety, but with the lack of sleep and stress, that’s exactly what was going on. I would lie awake at night, taking my pulse, fully convinced that there was something wrong with me and that I was dying. As much as I told myself I was in control, my mind had completely taken over. I felt like going to India was going to be like pressing a reset button. And thats exactly what it was. 

Getting there…

The total trip to Goa was going to take about 27 hours. The first flight was good. Turkish airlines have pretty decent food. And free alcohol. But it was like 10am and I didn’t feel like drinking surprisingly. When I arrived in Istanbul I was delighted, probably one of the biggest, nicest airports I’ve been in, and there was wifi! I connected immediately and wandered around, taking it all in, trying not to spend too much money. After about an hour I got my 4th coffee, and sat down to call Aran. What I didn’t realise is that you only get an hour of wifi per day. I’m not sure why, but I started to panic. I ran around trying to find the information desk to see if there was any way I could buy more wifi but the attendant was having none of it and basically said I was shit out of luck. Then, a random guy standing by the counter, must have seen me choking back sobs, and offered me his hotspot. Embarrassingly, I burst into tears and gave him a hug, thanking him. He had to go pick up his laptop or something, so he let me follow him like a puppy dog so I could use his hotspot to call. I think it was just the realisation of being in a foreign country again, not speaking the language and having no connection to home. It was weird I just felt so alone all of a sudden and it freaked me out. The second flight from Istanbul to Dehli was pretty fucking shit not gonna lie. I don’t know what the fuck they were doing, but they kept walking the tray up and down the aisle and it was literally 3 and a half hours before I got a glass of water. Everyone around me was looking around so confused, wondering what was going on. You know that feeling when the tray finally gets to you, the excitement of what the food might be, the highlight of the plane trip… yeah well my hopes and dreams were shattered when the tray FINALLY arrived and the only option I had was a 600 calorie noodle pot. Of course I devoured it, I didn’t want to waste away before I even arrived at the yoga training.

Sometimes I’m an idiot…

When I arrived in Dehli I realised I forgot to download my boarding pass  (yes I’m an idiot) and couldn’t connect to the wifi there so they wouldn’t let me through to departures. Again, a random guy, seeing my distress, tried to help me for ages, but it wouldn’t work so eventually he gave me his wifi token so I could connect, even though this meant that he would no longer have access. It was just really nice to know that there are kind people all over the world. And they weren’t creepy at all. (Unlike my taxi driver from Jaipur who is still sending me selfies) 

Ok a lot of the times I’m an idiot…

After what seemed like a freaking lifetime I arrived in Goa. I had sent Sampoorna ( The yoga school ) my arrival date and time and they had arranged a taxi for me, but of course without realising, I had sent them the wrong date so there was no driver. I eventually got ahold of him anyways and I was in luck because they had someone near the airport to come and get me. After an hour and a half taxi ride, we arrived in Agonda. I had booked a beach hut to stay in for the 2 nights before the course started but when we pulled up to where it was meant to be, there was nothing. There had been massive storms the days before and everything along the beach had been destroyed. My hut wasn’t just damaged, it was non-existent. On top of this, there was no telephone service or power anywhere. 

Exciting new adventure!

It ended up being fine, the taxi driver brought me to a guest house where other students were staying and luckily they had one room left. I showered in the dark using my phone as a flashlight, got changed and immediately went down to the beach. It was so surreal. The last time I travelled on my own was almost 5 years ago; I was single, and basically drunk every day. This was going to be different. This was also the first time I had travelled on my own since being with Aran, so I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel. I walked along the beach, taking it all in. The amazing sunset, the white sand, the palm trees, the elderly man sitting in lotus meditating, and of course. The cows. The amazing feeling of being in a new place, and not knowing what the next moment will bring. I am most comfortable when I am out of my comfort zone and I was so excited for this new adventure to begin.